Joke's on you
by Roz-chan
Summary: Naruto never thought that a text message could so thoroughly mess up his life, or Sasuke's. Denial, love, hate and humiliation. It's all here. Narusasu/Sasunaru multichap. Chapter 4 is up.
1. In which there is a misunderstanding

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Naruto series or any of its characters, nor do I profit from this fanfic.

**Warning:** This fic contains boy x boy love. This fic is an AU highschool fic. This fic is also un beta-ed.

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**Joke's on You- Chapter 1**

"Come back here! I wasn't finished writing that!" was screamed down the hall by a large blob of pink. Naruto dodged the history textbook that had been aimed at his head as he tried to read the words on the phone. The cell belonged to the pink blob, who, henceforth shall be known as Sakura Haruno. "Naruto, I swear if you want to live to see lunchtime, you'll give that phone back _now._" The tone with which it was said was enough to cause a falter in Naruto's step, and send him crashing to the ground at someone's feet. Naturally our young blond would have apologized profusely had not a deep baritone reached his ears first.

"Seriously Dobe, I know you adore me, but there's no need to kiss my feet." Naruto glared, knowing full well who that voice belonged to. And sure enough, as Naruto's eyes moved upwards, they came to rest on raven hair, dark grey eyes, and a well known smirk. In a word; Sasuke.

"Bastard!"

"Oh, would you rather I called you that instead?"

"Teme!-"

"You know, for someone in an advanced language class, one would think that you'd be a bit more eloquent." Naruto stood up in anger, grabbed Sasuke's shirt collar and slammed him into a locker, much to Sakura's dismay.

"Listen Uchiha, I don't have time for you or your bitching, but I'll cut you a deal. You leave me the _hell _alone and I'll let you keep your pretty face, m'kay?" Sasuke glared and was about to reply when a tired looking guy strolled over to the pair.

"Locker. Move," where the only words that came out of the lazy boy's mouth.

"Whatever, Shika," snapped Naruto as he released the brunette, and stormed off to his first class of the day; English. There was silence in the hall where Sasuke stood still, with an anxious Sakura beside him, and a pissed off Shikamaru still waiting for his locker to be visible. Though as soon as a look of indifference had graced Sasuke's face, the rest of the world regained motion, and everyone headed of to class. Sakura scowled; Naruto still had her cell.

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By the time Naruto had settled down, Shikamaru had just entered the room, five minutes late. Not that it mattered anyway, since their teacher was none other than Dr. Kakashi Hatake. Now finally safe to read what Sakura had been so secretive about, Naruto whipped out the phone to read the text's contents. He scowled. I was about 20 lines of rubbish about _Sasuke_. The blond felt like he could have thrown up. Unfortunately for him, in his moment of nausea, Dr. Hatake had managed to sneak up behind him, before grabbing the phone. Kakashi smiled, "Well now, what's this? I never thought I'd see the day when little Naruto-chan would be sending texts in my lesson. My policy clearly states that no electronic devices are to be used once class has started. The bell has rung, Uzumaki." Naruto rolled his eyes. It wasn't _his _phone that was being confiscated. Kakashi frowned; his job wasn't fun if he couldn't transform his students into a quivering pile of shame. It was definitely time to up tactics.

"Well then Uzumaki, perhaps some sharing is in order." Naruto froze in his seat.

"You _wouldn't_"

Kakashi grinned, pleased with his students reaction. "Wanna bet?" he said, and proceeded to clear his throat, trying to imitate Naruto's drawl. "Wow, can you believe how gorgeous Sasuke-kun looked at the bus stop yesterday. His hair was flowing in the wind and everything! It seriously took my breath away! I've loved him for such a long time, but he doesn't seem to realize. Maybe I've been too subtle? I just want him to notice me. I've tried my hardest to get his attention, we've been somewhat friends for a long time, even though we don't really talk. That's why, starting tomorrow, I'm gonna stop playing hard to get. You're the only one I can tell this to, so don't spread this around, 'kay?"

The class was so silent it was possible to hear the shrieks of pain coming from Orochimaru's class, 4 rooms down the hall. Naruto had thought that they'd have been laughing at Sakura's expense right now, until he realized what the silence meant; They all thought the text was his. They all thought he was _in love_ with Sasuke! In_ **LOVE**_! The blond paled, these where practically the most impressionable people in the year. And once they had grabbed on to an idea, it took all the powers that be to pry it from them. The gossipers had needed something new to spread around for ages, and Naruto had presented it on a silver platter. People would pass the rumor on and on, until they had even convinced _themselves_ that it was true. 'Highschool sucks. Wait, no! I'll just do a bit of damage control,' Uzumaki desperately thought.

"Listen guys, before you get any ideas, this isn't my phone. It's _Sakura's._" Naruto hated to rat Sakura out, but this was serious!

Kiba raised an eyebrow, "But why would Sakura be sending a text to herself?"

"Idiot, she was sending it to Ino!" Naruto growled in exasperation.

"So if it's Sakura's why do you have it? She's pretty possessive over her stuff"

The blond looked over at Shikamaru with pleading eyes, which turned wide with horror as his lazy friend smirked teasingly. "I don't know what to think Naruto, you were quite rough with Uchiha this morning. _Although_, that could've been sexual tension, or maybe frustration because he can't tell that you like him."

Never had one wished so dearly that the ground would swallow him whole as Naruto did then.

To Be Continued…

**Author's note: **This looks like this will turn out to be my first multi-chap fic! Hopefully I can update quite quickly, but I guess that depends on whether people actually want to know what happens next. If anyone has any comments or suggestions, I'd love to hear them! Ja ne!


	2. In which Sasuke hears the news

**Author's note: **Hi! I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, added this story to their favs or to alerts. It really gave me a lot of encouragement to write more. I got told off three times for writing this at work, so...enjoy! Any comments or concrit is geatly welcomed!

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Naruto hadn't been able to concentrate in any of his other lessons. But how could he? How could he, when all the teachers, students and their grandmothers thought he was crushing on Uchiha. Sakura scowled as she walked with the blond to lunch. "Get over yourself Naruto, I doubt many people care enough to be talking about it. It's really not a big deal."

"_Not a big deal?_ Half the world thinks I have feelings for a stuck up, rich, prissy, know-it-all, magazine-cover-boy-wannabe! Please Sakura, I'm begging you, tell people that you wrote that text!"

"No way, Blondie." Sakura rolled her eyes as Naruto proceeded to put on the most pathetic face he could. "I don't want people to think it was me either. That text was for Ino's eyes only. You really did this to yourself, you know."

"Sakura-chan!" The pair came to a halt outside the cafeteria doors. Sakura shifted her bag on her shoulder, and sighed, finally giving her friend a reassuring smile.

"Look Naruto, I'm sure that no one outside of Dr. Hatake's class knows what happened. I only found out because you told me-"

"Ino was in that class!"

"…Then you're totally screwed," Sakura acknowledged, before pushing the door open and weaving her way towards their group of friends. The rest of the school who had been busy eating, chatting and generally making noise, suddenly stood still. **Silence**. Naruto loved being the centre of attention. But hundreds of pairs of eyes staring at him was _hardly_ a nice experience. The blond walked faster, inadvertently catching parts of hushed conversation, the curious glances and disbelief following him all the way to his table. Then all at once, the spell was broken, and everyone continued where they had left off, as if someone had suddenly turned the volume up. The occupants of Sakura and Naruto's table, however, remained quiet.

Ino's eyebrows had risen to extreme heights, Chouji had stopped eating, Shika was awake and paying attention, Hinata had stopped fidgeting, and Kiba had turned an unnatural shade of red. **3**…**2**…**1**…and the entire table erupted with laughter. Even shy little Hinata couldn't contain it. "I'm glad you're all enjoying my suffering," Naruto grumbled. Chouji patted him awkwardly on the back and Kiba nodded sympathetically although there were still tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry mate, but you've got to admit that you'd be laughing if it had happened to someone else. I can't even imagine what's going through that ice princesses head right now." Kiba chuckled with delight. Naruto paled; he was **SO** lucky that Sasuke chose to eat elsewhere.

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Sasuke sat at his usual table outside by the fountains, ignoring the stares from the other students that passed by. He glared, and sent a red faced girl scurrying in the opposite direction. Wow, that had made him feel a little bit better; today hadn't been a good day for him. He was used to being stared at (he _was_ an Uchiha), but something was different. He couldn't place what it was, but it was making him really uncomfortable (though he would never admit it if anyone asked; Uchiha's aren't fazed by _anything_). He abandoned the thought as he saw Neji, Gaara and Lee walk towards his table. They weren't exactly what you'd call friends, but they understood each other's personality enough to tolerate being in the same space. Sasuke's eyes, narrowed once they'd finally reached him; not only were they late, but Neji had a dangerously uncharacteristic smirk on his face. "What's with that look, Neji?" The Hyuuga boy put down the food they had bought.

"Have you noticed that people have been acting weirder than usual today?"

"Spill it Hyuuga."

"_Gladly_. There's a rumor going around about you and Uzumaki"

Sasuke scoffed, "Never pegged you as one who followed gossip." Neji grinned.

"Well, I think you'll forgive me for indulging in such a _tasteless_ activity once you hear what I have to say." Sasuke rolled his eyes but stayed silent. This was all the encouragement Neji needed to continue. "It seems as if Uzumaki has some sort of crush on you _Sasu-chan_. Can you believe that!? At first I thought it was some crap started by a fool with half a brain…but more and more people have been saying it's true, it's **hilarious** if you ask me." Sasuke's scowl deepened as Neji stole some of his fries.

"Don't bullshit me Neji. Lee, what's really going on?" snapped Sasuke. Lee grinned, his eyes going wide as he spoke.

"It's as he says, Sasuke, as hard as it is to believe. Even Naruto's friends weren't denying it. What _I_ want to know, is what you're going to do about it. Sooner or later, there's going to be a confrontation of some kind. Naturally I want to be there to witness such a display of youth!"

"Where did this rumor come from, then? Sasuke refused to believe such…**nonsense**! Just that morning Sasuke and Naruto had been two insults away from a fist fight. "Surely it was Sakura. Or Ino, maybe. Even Hinata would be more likely!" Sasuke insisted, ignoring the glare he received from Neji. It was Gaara who chose to speak up. He explained what students in Kakashi's class had been saying, relaying what the text had said with perfect accuracy.

"Ordinarily I'd have though that it was Sakura as well. Goodness knows she's been trying to get into your pants for ages, but in the text it said that the person had been playing hard to get. Haruno in no way, shape or form plays hard to get. And let's not forget, for rivals, you and Uzumaki used to be on friendly terms." Sasuke sat, motionless. That was probably the most Gaara had said in a long time

Neji laughed, "Maybe shoving you into lockers was just a way to get some body contact!" Sasuke threw some fries at him. "So let's say Mr. Blond-haired-blue-eyed Uzumaki really does have the hots for you. What do you think of that? Honestly." Sasuke paused his eating and looked up at the three expectant faces. What _did_ he think of it? The Uchiha had never really thought about Naruto in that way before. Sure, the boy was handsome, with his golden blond hair, shining blue eyes that crinkled when he smiled, his infectious laugh, that _perfectly_ bronzed body- **Wait, WHOA!** Time out! Sasuke didn't know where those thoughts had come from. He wasn't even _gay_. And even if he was, it wouldn't be for an idiot like the _Dobe_.

The only thing that was _shining_ about the blond was the bruise left behind when Sasuke punched him. Everything about the blond was _infectious_; surely he had substandard hygiene routines. And the only thing _bronze_ pertaining to the blond was from him getting third place in school competitions (behind Sasuke and Neji, of course). The Uchiha nodded in satisfaction. So **why, oh why** was there a blush on his cheeks and a falter in his breath? He sighed and relented somewhat, "I'm not as disgusted as I should be. Quite the opposite in fact, and that worries me."

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Despite the horrible start, lunch had ended on a relatively good note. Naruto had made his mind up; he would tell Sasuke what happened, Sasuke would punch him, and everything would be sorted by the end of the day. Crisis resolved! At least that was the plan. He stepped into the art room just as the bell rang and saw Sasuke at the back of the room talking with Neji. The Uchiha looked strained; Naruto was convinced that he was restraining himself from running over and punching the blond's lights out. Naruto took his seat as Mr. Umino addressed the class.

"Hey everyone! As you know it's the start of winter term, which means it's time to start our project! Grab a pen and some paper; you'll need to write this down. For the next four weeks you'll be partnered with another member of the class. You will be creating a portrait of this person in the final week of the project. That means in the next three weeks you'll be taking photos, doing sketches, formulating ideas! Also it's a good idea to start thinking of colour schemes, backgrounds and painting styles. I don't want this to be a dead portrait class, it should embody the characteristics of the person you are painting."

Naruto grinned to himself, 'I feel sorry for the person who get's Uchiha; "dead" is one of his primary characteristics.'

Iruka clapped his hands, "I don't want a fuss about who will be partnered with whom. You will be paired according to the order you're in alphabetically. So, find your partner and get started. There are cameras on my desk of you want them." Naruto sat dumbstruck; he was paired with the Uchiha. Life officially hated him. Could things honestly get any worse? He picked up a camera and turned it on. Maybe if he blinded the Uchiha with the flash he could make a get away. Naruto found Sasuke through the lens of the camera, zoomed in and took a picture. The Uchiha was staring straight back at him. But it occurred to Naruto that something was wrong. Maybe it was the shy glance, or the delicate blush…Uzumaki frowned in confusion…and then everything clicked (no pun intended).

Naruto, as eloquent as ever, said the only thing that could be used to describe the situation, "Oh, crap!"


	3. In which squirrels are endangered

**Hey Everyone! Happy New Year! I'd just like to thank everyone who reviewed and added this story to their alerts or favourites. Thanks for your patience as well, I had a _lot_ of trouble with this chapter, but hopefully it turned out ok. I even tried to make it a bit longer. Enjoy!**

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Sasuke had definitely heard the rumors by now…So why wasn't he beating Naruto into the ground? And what was with that blush from earlier? Naruto had a theory, though he prayed to any god that would listen, that it wasn't true. Naruto sat cautiously opposite Sasuke; If Sasuke didn't say anything about it, then neither would he. Surely Sasuke didn't think it was true. With that thought comforting him, Naruto put the camera down. Without the camera between them anymore, eye contact was almost inevitable, and Sasuke was left to wonder on the exact shade of blue that was Naruto's eyes. Sasuke scowled to himself once he realized he had bee staring; how undignified of him! He was willing to bet his share of the Uchiha fortune that Neji was watching his reaction to the blond, and Sasuke would be dammed if he made a fool of himself. "Take a picture Dead Last, it'll last longer." Normally Sasuke wouldn't be caught dead using such a cliché phrase, but the moment had called for it and he found it hard to resist. He heard a poorly concealed snigger from the table behind him; it looked like Sasuke would be keeping his Uchiha million after all.

Naruto glared and snapped a photo as close to Sasuke as he could get, just to spite the brunette. Though temporarily blinded, Sasuke resisted the urge to shove the camera down Naruto's throat. Instead, he pulled his sketch book from his bag and started drawing. Naruto, who'd been expecting some kind of a response, sat dumbly as the Uchiha drew him. The blond had thought that maybe things would stay the same after hearing the brunette's outburst; he'd expected a least a kick under the table, or some sort of cutting remark. And so, for the first time since they had met each other, an almost pleasant silence descended upon the two (not including the times both were unconscious in the hospital).

After about 25 minutes, Naruto started to get restless. It wasn't that he was incapable of sitting still (despite popular belief), Naruto just preferred to have something to occupy his time, like a book (yes, he reads), or music…or a bowl of Ichiraku's. The point is that staring into space wasn't of great appeal to the blond, nor was it his forte. Sasuke sighed as he watched the blond fidget, "I'm not going to get much done with you acting like you're having a seizure, so I'll stop here." How could Sasuke ever think that the blond was even the slightest bit attractive? He was glad he was feeling more like himself now. Naruto stuck his tongue out childishly, but looked down to see what the other had done.

"That's pretty good, Teme," Naruto grudgingly said, turning the book around to get a better look at it. Not that he was surprised, Sasuke was one of the best artists in the class, but Naruto wasn't about to say that out loud. There was something off about the picture though, but Naruto couldn't tell exactly what it was. Dismissing the thought, Naruto grabbed a piece of charcoal to start his own sketch. "Hold still, Uchiha." Sasuke smirked when he saw what Naruto was going to draw with, "What? You're no the only one who's decent at art; I can handle a bit of charcoal, Teme!"

"Maybe, though I thought someone as colourblind as you would have gone for something more…orange." Naruto caught the disgusted look the other had given his clothes and scowled.

"Nothing's wrong with orange. And anyway, someone who doesn't appreciate the colour doesn't deserve to be drawn in it."

"Whatever Dead La-" The bell rang and cut Sasuke off mid sentence. Just as Sasuke started to pack up, Naruto looked down at his barely started drawing.

"Oi Teme, because you took so long on your crappy sketch, I haven't gotten anything done!" Sasuke shrugged and walked towards the door. "Hey, do something about it! If I don't have anything to show for next lesson, Iruka's gonna be pissed at you too for not cooperating with me. I'm trying to make this work. Do you think I _want_ to spend time with you?" Naruto's eyes widened as the words left his mouth. They had managed to last the whole lesson without anything related to Naruto's supposed crush being mentioned. Sasuke told Naruto to come to his house after school to finish up, and left before Naruto had a chance to explain that, no, he wasn't in love with the Uchiha.

Kiba was waiting for Naruto outside of the classroom, and his eyes swept quickly over the blond, checking for injuries. "So how was art class" he said. Naruto rolled his eyes at the dog lover.

"It could've gone better, but it wasn't a complete disaster. Iruka's being totally unreasonable and making me work with the Princess." Naruto grinned as Kiba shook his head in sympathy. "I started drawing him, but I have to go to his house to finish." Kiba looked honestly horrified.

"He'll finish _you_, idiot! Don't you see!? The only reason you're here standing in one piece is that he wants to murder you in the privacy and comfort of his own home; there won't be any witnesses!" The brunette practically growled, and held onto Naruto's shoulder's trying to make him see sense. Naruto laughed and shook him off.

"Nah, I'll be fine; Uchiha wasn't kicking up more of a fuss than usual. I was kind of surprised actually, but I'm not about to complain." Naruto purposefully left out the fact that the Uchiha had seemed almost embarrassed. Sure Sasuke was usually embarrassed to be seen with the blond, but it had been different this time. It was almost as if Sasuke was nervous to have to blond in his presence, continually refusing to meet Naruto's eyes. Naruto had a couple of possible reasons for the strange behavior, though none of them were ideas he wished to think on. His brain wasn't ready for the trouble that would be unleashed. Not yet.

"Umm, hello!? Naruto, did you blank out on me? You never listen yet your mouth is always open, like everyone wants to hear about ramen 24/!" Kiba whined.

Naruto snorted, "That has to be the most girlish thing I've ever heard you say. You must of given up on being Hinata's boyfriend and made plans for being her girlfriend instead!" Naruto laughed as he dodged the large fist that had flown towards him. Enough confrontations with Sasuke had taught Naruto to know when he was in line for a punch…that, and the fact that Kiba was just predictable. The blond boy ran down the hall for his last class, barely catching his friend's words as they were shouted after him.

"Don't blame me when he shows his true colours and snaps you like a paintbrush!" Naruto almost choked with laughter at that one.

Thankfully, Naruto's last class had consisted of watching a DVD about the great depression; he'd fallen asleep before the opening credits had even finished rolling. He had had a nightmare of the worst kind; there were little baby ramen bowls committing suicide because no one had enough money to buy them. It had been horrific, and Naruto awoke with a grunt at the end of the lesson, after witnessing the 7th pair of chopsticks drowning in a pool of miso.

Naruto was out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang. He trusted that Kiba would tell the others why he wasn't walking home with them, and winced at the thought of the fuel it would add to his would be crush story. Naruto was planning to set things straight with Sasuke when he saw him, but all coherent thought vanished once he saw the Uchiha's car. It wasn't difficult to find; Black and polished two-seater sports cars weren't the normal mode of transport for teenagers. But then again, when had Sasuke ever been normal? Naruto ran up to inspect the car, and bask in its ambience. And so this is how Sasuke came out of school to find a tall, blond, handsome, sexy- _Uzumaki_ leaning against his car. "aren't you going to follow me?" Sasuke asked, already getting into his car.

"Nope, I walked to school today, so I have nothing to follow you in." Even if he had driven to school, he would have left his car at school for the chance to ride in the new Porsche. It really suited Sasuke perfectly; dark and sophisticated, powerful for its size…and kind of high maintenance. Naruto might even go as far as to call it sexy. But then he would be calling Sasuke sexy as well, which is something that Naruto would rather rip out his tongue tan admit. Naruto slid into the car, and then they were off. The journey was quite uneventful, but Naruto had learnt 3 things about the other. One, that Sasuke listened to the weirdest assortment of music; on his iPod had been everything from Paramore to Tupac, and Family force five to Mozart. Two, if you touched Sasuke's iPod he would severely hurt you; Naruto's poor fingers were still hurting. Three, Sasuke had to be the worst driver ever. How he had gotten his license was beyond Naruto; surely it was illegal to drive 60 mph the wrong way up a one way 35 mph street. Sasuke had shrugged and said that it was the fastest way home. Perhaps Sasuke had just paid off the driving instructor. Naruto refused to believe that the Uchiha could have passed on his own…not after the second squirrel he had almost hit. And that one had been on the grass!

Finally they pulled up to tall black gates which opened as they approached. Sasuke parked the car and grabbed his bag before getting out. He rolled his eyes at Naruto who sat in awe of the house. Though, mansion might be a more accurate description for the building they were about to enter. The blond got out of the car and followed the other past the fountain and then around the corner of the house. He almost ran straight into Sasuke as the brunette stopped abruptly. Naruto scowled, the other was staring with unmasked horror at a sleek silver car not to far ahead of them. "Oi, what's your problem, Teme?"

"We can't work here. Let's go to your place instead." Sasuke was about to turn around and head back to the car, but Naruto was having none of it. He pushed Sasuke up the path and towards the door. Any argument Sasuke had died at the feel of Naruto's warm hand on his back. The Uchiha was angry and disgusted at himself, but there was no denying that he liked the feel of Naruto's touch.

They were safely inside the house when Sasuke remembered the reason he had been so against being there. He grabbed Naruto's arm; perhaps they could escape to his room before their presence was discovered. But alas, the subject of his loathing was walking down the grand staircase into the main hall, looking just as condescending and superior as her always did. "Hello, little brother."

Sasuke swore.

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**And that's where I'll end for this chapter. I'm sorry to those who expected a bit more action, but I don't think that Naruto and Sasuke's relationship would fall together so quickly. Comments and suggestions are always helpful; I want to make this a good read for my lovely audience! I love Itachi, so I couldn't leave him out of this fic! XOXO**


	4. In which there are guardians

**Author's note: Hello lovely readers. Any of you remember me? I really have treated this story so badly. I got a rather horrible anonymous review telling me what a disgrace I was to writing and how out of character it was. I was pretty upset; I've written and rewritten this chapter over and over. But it's my own fault for letting one person get to me. If you still have an interest in this story, then thank you, I'll try my best. **

**This chapter isn't as entertaining as the others, but it's necessary for the plot to move on! Hugs and kisses to you all. And please keep bugging me to write this if I ever fall lax again. (I give you permission to stalk me!)**

_RECAP: __Naruto scowled, the other was staring with unmasked horror at a sleek silver car not to far ahead of them. "Oi, what's your problem, Teme?"_

"_We can't work here. Let's go to your place instead." Sasuke was about to turn around and head back to the car, but Naruto was having none of it. He pushed Sasuke up the path and towards the door. Any argument Sasuke had died at the feel of Naruto's warm hand on his back. The Uchiha was angry and disgusted at himself, but there was no denying that he liked the feel of Naruto's touch._

_They were safely inside the house when Sasuke remembered the reason he had been so against being there. He grabbed Naruto's arm; perhaps they could escape to his room before their presence was discovered. But alas, the subject of his loathing was walking down the grand staircase into the main hall, looking just as condescending and superior as her always did. "Hello, little brother."_

_Sasuke swore._

* * *

While still holding on to Naruto's arm, Sasuke moved swiftly up the stairs, making sure to push past his brother. With any luck, Sasuke could make it all the way up before Itachi said anything else.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your little friend, Sasuke-chan?"

'_Damnit'_

Sasuke wheeled around, and maneuvered Naruto so that he was facing Itachi. "This is Naruto Uzumaki, my art partner. Uzumaki, this is the guy who pays my credit card bills…Now that introductions are over-"

Naruto sniggered, "You mean he's like a sugar daddy?"

Sasuke, if possible went even paler. "Dobe, that's _gross_. I meant that he's my older brother…I'm not old enough to have access to any money yet."

Itachi shook his head, and to outsider his face would look completely neutral. But Sasuke knew that, deep down (deep, deep down) Itachi was fighting the urge to laugh. Great. Itachi found the blond funny, and he probably realized that Naruto infuriated Sasuke like no other. If Sasuke wasn't careful, he'd find himself in a whole lot of trouble, and there was no way that he'd let his brother have another way to get to him.

"Well little brother, at least now you realize the importance of manners and proper introductions."

"Shove it, Itachi." And with that said, Sasuke continued to try and drag the poor blond up the stairs, despite the numerous protests that he could walk perfectly fine on his own. Naruto straightened his clothes once they had reached the top. He couldn't understand how someone with such a small frame could possibly have so much strength. Sasuke was standing in front of a closed door, though his attention was all on Naruto. It was kind of creepy.

"What's up Uchiha?" The blond said impatiently, running a hand through his hair in irritation. The brunette rolled his eyes; Naruto was so easily riled.

"Few people have ever been allowed into my room. In fact, you can count the number of people on one hand. So here are the rules: don't touch anything without permission, don't assume my silence is permission, and don't think your own permission is good enough. Failure to adhere to these rules gives me the explicit right to maim you in which ever way I deem acceptable…OK, let's go.

Naruto didn't know what he'd been expecting before he went in. Maybe a plasma screen TV, or some other trinket to show off his millionaire status. But if Sasuke had been truthful about the few visitors his room had seen, then it was fair to say that he wouldn't have a need to show off. Now that Naruto thought about it, he found that he really didn't know much about the other to make an accurate guess. The blond followed the Uchiha inside and took a look around.

Naruto's first impression was that the room was big. Much larger than a standard teenager's room. The walls were a surprisingly light shade of blue, with darker blues and white everywhere else. Taking up the space of an entire wall was a ceiling high bookcase filled with books, CDs, a few sports trophies, and sketchbooks. But apart from that, there really wasn't much else in the large room; just a bed, a desk with a laptop, a wardrobe and a-

"Dude! You have a balcony!? That's so cool, you lucky bastard. You could totally sneak out whenever you want!" Naruto hummed in grudging approval of the brunette's room. Sasuke rolled his eyes and made himself comfortable on the floor, motioning for the blond to do the same. Naruto followed his lead and sat (with a lot less grace) opposite Sasuke. He retrieved his art stuff out of his bag and began sketching.

For a while, there was nothing but the sounds of paper rustling and the quiet music from Sasuke's iPod to fill the room. The atmosphere was far more pleasant than either of the boys had expected, and both silently agreed not to comment on it. For the next two hours, they took turns drawing the other without as much bickering as usual, and Naruto started to feel uneasy. He wasn't used to paying attention to the Uchiha's features. Sure, if someone had asked the blond to describe Sasuke, he could tell them that he was slim, pale, black haired, (and a priss). But Naruto was now forced to notice the high cheekbones, the flawless skin and the piercing gaze his partner possess. He was a lot more good looking than many girls at their school.

Naruto saw something strange moving in his peripheral vision…and let out a (rather unmanly) squeak of surprise, though he was grateful for the distraction. "What the hell is under your bed, Sasuke!?"

Sasuke smirked and reached out under his bed to retrieve a small black cat. "Wow Dead Last, you were scared of a kitten. Just when I thought you couldn't act like any more of a loser."

Naruto bristled at the insult but reached for the adorable bundle of fluff. It really was insanely cute, and Naruto noted that the kitten's name was Rai. "I never took you for a cat person Sasuke; your hair screams 'mother duck' more than anything else. Tell me, did you spend hours on that duck butt, or does it come naturally?" Sasuke was about to reply, when the door swung open, revealing none other than Kakashi. Naruto squawked in an undignified manner for the second time in a few hours.

"Dr. Hatake…No offence dude, but did you get lost on the way to your porn shop or something? This is the last place I'd ever expect to see you, although Shika did say you had a soft spot for the Teme." Naruto teased, before wincing as Sasuke cuffed him on the head. The brunette sighed, only Naruto would say something so lame.

Meanwhile, Kakashi put on his best hurt look (which is hard to do with half your face covered). "How you wound me Naruto! Jiraiya's shop is a very fine establishment that deals with adult entertainment of the highest quality. Porn is such a derogatory word, and highly inaccurate. My smut is very much intellectual. As for why I'm here…I happen to live here! I'm so upset that my dearest Sasuke-chan keeps it a secret from everyone. I'm his legal guardian!"

Let it be recorded that at 6:43 PM on the 18th of November, Naruto Uzumaki was rendered speechless. (We can omit that the silence didn't last very long)

The blond's laughter could be heard all across the Uchiha mansion, and by the time it had died down, Naruto was wheezing, tears visible at his eyes. "Wow, for once I feel bad for you, Teme! I must admit, you kept it a secret very well. I'd just assumed it was only you and your clone of a brother." He looked at the clock on Sasuke's desk. "Anyway, I have to get going."

Sasuke nodded and stood up, while trying not to look too eager. It was best if Naruto left before anyone else came to the house. He would have died and gone to hell and back if Deidara or Kisame came home.

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke were almost out the front door when Itachi swept into the room. Sasuke scowled; the bastard was always making a dramatic entrance. "Sasuke-chan, let me take Naruto-kun home. You have kendo practice in a half hour. You can't drop him off and get to the other side of town on time…Don't tell me you forgot."

Itachi's serene face was a mask for the sheer unadulterated glee he felt within. It wasn't every day that he got to annoy his beloved little brother, and Itachi knew that Sasuke would be plagued by thoughts of the unknown conversations between Naruto and the elder Uchiha.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at the honorific, but his gaze showed defeat. He had a competition coming up and couldn't afford to be late for practice. "Fine," he snapped "Dobe, it looks like your driving with Itachi…I'll arrange a pleasant funeral for you." And with that, the brunette grabbed his kendo gear from the hallway closet and was out the door. Naruto mulled over the weird comment for a while before shrugging it off and following the older Uchiha brother after shouting a quick 'bye' to his teacher. The blond grinned; he got to ride in two awesome cars in one day!

It was exactly eight minutes later while speeding down the road, that Naruto understood Sasuke's comment.

He looked at Itachi in horror, "Dude, you drive worse than the Teme! How is that even possible!? Oh crap, I'm really gonna freaking die!" The brunette looked at him strangely and told him not to exaggerate. The blond concluded that he bad driving was definitely an Uchiha thing. They usually moved with such grace, but on the road they were total hazards to the entire human race (and the local squirrel population).

The blond boy almost cried when Itachi took both hands off the wheel to search for his cell phone (which was on the back seat), and thus was grateful when they pulled up outside his house.

After thanking Itachi for the lift, Naruto stepped inside the house to be welcomed by the smell of ramen. 'Thank goodness! Food! If Ichiraku's didn't do take out, me and Jiraiya would've starved ages ago.'

"Oi, Pervy Sage! I'm home" The blond called before heading to the kitchen for his share of food.

Naruto had started living with Jiraiya four years ago. And at first Naruto had had his doubts; the guy owned a porn shop, consumed way too much alcohol for his own good, and was a total perv, but Naruto had grown fond of him regardless. Jiraiya wasn't around most days (he was very dedicated to his 'research'), but every now and again he'd get Ebisu (a fellow perv) to watch the shop for him.

Jiraiya's voice boomed through the wall from the other room. "Come and eat in here brat and tell me about your week. I left my important research to come see if you were still alive, and you don't bother to show up until past 7. I want to know what's up! Were you with that cutie, Sakura?"

Naruto grinned and carried his bowl of ramen and glass of coke over to Jiraiya. "First of all, you perv, you're way too old to call Sakura cute! It's disturbing! Secondly, I didn't know you were going to be home early today."

"If you had known, would you have come home earlier?"

"Hell no."

"How ungrateful of you! Ok, so you were with some hottie, right? Finally! It's about time you started dating. I'm your guardian, and as tribute to my _sheer awesomeness, _I demand details."

"Well, yeah he's really hot, but-" Naruto slapped a hand over his mouth and watched as Jiraiya choked on his ramen. Colour rose quickly to Naruto's cheeks. 'Do I really think he's hot!?' Naruto prayed that Jiraiya was drunk enough to forget the slip by morning.

"Brat…What exactly was that?"

"I don't know!"

"…Well if you need some help, you can take a look at some of the material at the shop, and-"

Naruto wasn't listening. 'How could one day screw my life up so royally?'

The exact pink of Sasuke lips still lingered in his mind.

* * *

**So there it is my dears. If you find any mistakes, don't hesitate to point them out. Concrit is loved.**

**Peace, love, and NaruSasuNaru doujinshi to you all**


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